The One Thing that Changed My Marriage

The One Thing that Change My Marriage

My husband and I have been married for almost two years, but dated for five before.  We know each other, we love each other, our lives are together, and when we got married, we took a vow to stick it out together as long as we live.  Of course that last part is easier said then done, marriage takes work, patience, and a ton of forgiveness on both sides, but this last year, I have been very intentional about one thing, and it has made our marriage so much better.

Most people say the key to a good marriage is not going to bed angry, but I believe the key to a good marriage is not coming home angry.  I work a lot, and after a very long day, it can be easy for me to feel crabby.  When I get crabby, I have no patience, and when I have no patience, I can be not so nice to the one person who does not deserve it, i.e. my husband.  I would walk through the door unhappy, irritable, and frustrated, and brining that energy into our home did no one any good.  He would be kind and ask what he can do for me, I would be a jerk and find something to pick a fight about, and for that my dear husband, I am so sorry.  That is unacceptable.

One day, after a very long day, my mom called me on my way home.  I, of course, was irritated, exhausted, and not in the best mood, and expressed myself to her.  She encouraged me to find comfort into coming home to my husband and dog, thanks mom.  It was the exact advice I needed, because after I hung up the phone, I was finally able to step back and see how awful coming home angry made both of us feel.

Now, even when I am in a bad mood, I leave it at the door, so when I do get to see my husband, there is a hug, a smile, and good vibes.  It may seem simple, but this change had made our marriage so much better.  I still am working on how to express/deal with my anger, but I am proud to have taken this step.  Marriage is hard work, but so worth it.  Relationships are always changing, always evolving, and if we want them to stay pure, sometimes we have to step back and observe our actions, which is something I am hoping to do more and more.